Avast, me hearties!

Photo [L to R]: Julia, James, Longrider

As many of us missed and as Chuckles has now pointed out, September 19th was Talk like a Pirate Day.

So all right, we missed that but in Germany, the joke has turned quite sour for Merkel and the other oligarchs. And here it is – the Pirate Party:

Martin Delius, a 27-year-old student, who is about to become one of the party’s 15 representatives in Berlin’s state parliament admitted being overwhelmed by the results.

“We were expecting some success,” he said. “But this was more than we could have dreamed.”

Having won nearly nine percent of the vote in Berlin’s state elections Sunday, the Pirates have just scored one of their biggest victories ever. They’ll have 15 of 149 seats in the state parliament – important because the high-profile legislature often punches above its weight in German federal politics.

Delius admitted that he and his colleagues were not yet sure how they were going to make a concrete difference in the everyday lives of constituents.

Pause for thought [chin stroking time]

# We have zero respect for Westminster politicians, right? Check.

# We want to have a say in Westminster politics because, until we can sweep away all the dead wood – Cameron, Clegg, Cable, Red Ed etc., power will remain with the EU via Westminster [the rubber stampers], yes? Check.

# If we can’t beat them, join them, no? Check.

# People are utterly pissed off with politics and the lack of a voice in our lives, right? Check.

Solution

There is a Pirate Party already in the UK but it seems to be a very serious minor party with a platform, which is a pity because such a party would not grab the popular imagination in the same way as a piratically dressed bunch, chanting pirate-speak and having but one policy – giving the people a voice in parliament.

It seriously needs humour to succeed or at least something out of the ordinary.  Anonymous had their masks, in some countries women in white were quite effective.  Why not pirates in seafaring gear?  In my leftist student days, we had a group: Anarchist Revolutionary Students in Education and sent our demands inscribed on loo roll.

We’d like to think we actually made some progress on our lesser demands but the word anarchist appeared to be a sticking point with the authorities for some reason.

I’d humbly submit that as no other tactic appears to have gained us the slightest advantage or concession from the bstds atop and as riots and revolution are already factored in, why not go the piratical route, with candidates of some ability and erudition, plus a sense of humour?

That humour might take such a party a long way and with 8 or 9 in parliament, there is the platform for a plethora of PMBs delivered to the party via the internet.  On top of that, those 8 or 9 would have the balance of power, would they not?  If a huge multitude were to crash the pirate servers with a single opinion on a piece of legislation, then the pirates’ duty in parliament would be clear – to vote according to the will of the people.

What to call it, now that Pirate Party has been taken?  No idea.  Something will spring to mind.

16 comments for “Avast, me hearties!

  1. Pirran
    September 22, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    The trouble is, the “Monster Raving Loony Party” has queered the pitch for everyone else.

    Anyone emulating that motif will be subconsciously relegated to the “cheery radical eccentric” box by the electorate and doomed to the same fate as David Sutch.

    • September 23, 2011 at 5:30 am

      Indeed! I miss not having a sensible party to vote for…. :mrgreen:

    • September 23, 2011 at 6:31 am

      I think it was the Monster Raving Loony Party who first proposed the idea of passports for pets some years before it was actually brought in under Blair. Just because something’s said as a joke it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t still make sense. I always thought their suggestion of minting a 99p coin was quite a good idea as well.

  2. nemesis
    September 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    What about calling a political party “None of the above”. It is sure to garner all the disaffected votes.

  3. john in cheshire
    September 22, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    nemesis, I think that could be a good idea. It needs to be tested in a local election.

  4. September 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Problem is when you have:

    Atkins, JD LPUK
    None of the Above
    Oliphant, PS Socialists
    Regan, LK Labour Party
    Titmarsh, GT Conservative Party

    How about “Nemesis”?

    • Pirran
      September 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

      ….Or just “Tick this Box”…

  5. nisakiman
    September 22, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    “Problem is when you have:

    Atkins, JD LPUK
    None of the Above
    Oliphant, PS Socialists
    Regan, LK Labour Party
    Titmarsh, GT Conservative Party”

    Nah, people will just think it’s a printing error and check the box anyway.

    I think it’s a brilliant idea! Appeals to my schoolboy sense of humour!

  6. September 22, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    If it was an election it would have to have a candidate, and their name would set the position. So all None Of The Above party candidates need to change their name to start with a ‘z’. But it’s a brilliant idea for a protest movement.

    • DaveK
      September 23, 2011 at 3:10 pm

      You could use several zeds such as:

      zzzz – None of the above

  7. September 23, 2011 at 6:32 am

    How about changing your name to The All and forming a party called Other Candidates Are Shit Party?

  8. September 23, 2011 at 11:19 am

    “Photo [L to R]: Julia, James, Longrider”

    Hmmm. Julia. Are you doing anything this evening?

    • james Higham
      September 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      Wot, mine doesn’t excite you as much, Bucko?

      • September 23, 2011 at 1:09 pm

        Erm. Well.

        Is that the time?

        *Legs it*

    • Lord T
      September 23, 2011 at 8:39 pm

      I think they mixed up the names at the printers. The one on the left is Longrider, the top Julia and the one of the right James. Simple error.

    • AndrewWS
      September 28, 2011 at 11:45 am

      Indeed. Is that really you three? I hadn’t realised that Julia – as well as being one of the best and most mordant wits on the web – was so attractive.

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