To Save The Planet, We Must Kill This Tree!

May 11, 2012 7 Comments
By

A music producer whose songs have appeared in Hollywood films asked for a £5,000 tree outside his house to be cut down because it was interfering with his solar panels.

Ahahahahaha….!

But, as with most local news stories, it wasn’t the whole story:

Producer and recording artist Steve McIntosh, whose songs have appeared on Sex and the City and Scary Movie 3, listed the reason as among those for removing the 15m tree from the path outside his house on Westmead Road, Sutton.

So…what were the others?

Sutton Council agreed to remove the tree because Mr McIntosh’s son was allergic to the tree’s pollen, which was causing him to come out in a rash once a year.

Hmmm. Odd. Lots of people have hayfever (my mother, for one).

Can they all request that the offending council-owned plant be removed? Or only the local celebrities?

Mr McIntosh also said the 20-year-old tree was causing a problem for electric gates outside the £375,000 house.

Shouldn’t you take that up with the supplier who fitted them, then?

All three ward councillors for Sutton Council, which has a tree as its logo, approved the tree’s removal.

Mr McIntosh said the tree was doing more damage than good.

He said: “We all love trees but this was a menace to people in the area. It was a nuisance.”

Not to people – to one person.

Colin Hall, executive member for environment and climate change on Sutton Council, said: “We took the decision to replace this tree with a different species last year as some of the pollen and debris it produces was causing medical problems for a nearby resident, who has offered to pay for and look after a replacement tree.”We’re proud of being one of the greenest boroughs in London and don’t take the decision to cut down trees lightly, but people’s health has to take priority and this request was backed up by a statement from the resident’s doctor.”

Congrats! You’ve just set a precedent!

If everyone who suffers from hayfever now writes in, with a doctor’s supporting note, Sutton’s going to look like someone sprayed Agent Orange over it…

Tags: , , , , ,

7 Responses to To Save The Planet, We Must Kill This Tree!

  1. Tattyfalarr
    May 11, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I think “who has offered to pay was the deciding factor. :|

    • May 11, 2012 at 11:12 am

      If the same concession is granted to others, maybe. I wonder…

      • Richard
        May 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

        They’ve just started digging, (no pun intended), a very big hole for themselves. :-D

      • May 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

        And what happens when he moves and the new owner says “Rack off, it’s not my tree. I’d have been perfectly happy with the old one. Or no tree at all”?

        Incidentally, I know Sutton, and it could be argued that a good dosing with Agent Orange wouldn’t make it a lot worse. A small nuke, however, possibly targeted on the shopping centre, might be an improvement.

        • May 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm

          So long as my brother gets fair warning first… ;-)

          • May 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm

            Long as he can wait ’til I’ve warned my sister and as long he’s not responsible for the layout of the shopping centre car park. On the other hand if that was the sole criteria for nuking somewhere there’s at least three shopping centres in Melbourne that would be gently glowing craters right now.

  2. Greg Tingey
    May 13, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Could they not just have erm PRUNED the tree?

United Kingdom Time

Subscribe

Email us at contact orphans of liberty [all one word] at gmail dot com

Authors

For more about these renegades, click on the name to go to a short profile:

AK Haart
Churchmouse
James Higham
JuliaM
The Quiet Man

Orphans logo


Feel free to take this for your sidebar.