What passing-bells for these who die as cattle? Only the monstrous anger of the guns. Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle Can patter out their hasty orisons. No mockeries for them; no prayers nor bells, Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,— The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells; And bugles calling for them from sad shires. What candles may be held to speed them all? Not in…
I saw this headline and had a brief moment of confusion. How on earth could the black economy make Victoria lose $620 million a year? Was all the money going abroad or interstate? I read on to find out and it wasn’t long before the answer was apparent. Victoria isn’t losing $620 million a year at all. A report by the Australia Institute think tank says cash-in-hand payments are stripping…
Whatever we all know, think we know, suspect, believe, saw something on the web or have heard about the late and now (then, now then) largely unlamented Jimmy Savile I can tell you two 100% incontrovertible facts about him: He was never convicted of a sex offence while he was alive. He’s never going to be convicted of one now that he’s dead. Personally I wouldn’t be all that surprised…
Imagine prohibiting cigarette sales to people born after 2000. Phasing out tobacco will stop the next generation taking up smoking. Actually I’d be surprised if this is really new and hasn’t been bandied around nannying and anti-tobacco circles previously, but this is the first time I’ve seen something like it being seriously mooted in the pages of a major newspaper. And I have to say that not only is it…
Why do people get fired? Yes, I know that in many areas legislation seems to protect anyone from getting fired at all these days and that, say, fiddling your expenses might get you fired in your job but not if you were an MP, but I can’t think of anywhere where there isn’t something you can do that will get you instantly fired on the spot even if it’s hacking…
Skids, ned, chavs and assorted white trash rejoice. Australia’s bogans have finally been given official recognition by none other than the Oxford English Dictionary. It’s not yet clear how the word is to be defined but if they’re still taking suggestions I’d like to submit one: bogan (boh-guhn) – noun and occasionally adjective. Defintion, this: I’ll be growing a mullet and getting a Carlton tattoo immediately.
Cracked! missed one on their recent list of the 5 Biggest Pussifications of Schools, and while it’s probably not unique to this place the recent example comes from a school just south of Melbourne. No touching. Parents claim they were not told directly of the new rule, which extended a ban on contact sports … Yes, they’d already gone that far, and that depressingly common policy is touched on in…
Read this quote carefully as there may be questions later. Mental Health Minister Helen Morton said as there was no evidence to prove that even small amounts of alcohol were not healthy for pregnant women, no alcohol was the best advice. I’ve read that a number of times and I really can’t spot the connection between the observation that there’s no reason, none at all, to think that a small…
“If the boy responsible doesn’t own up then the whole class, and I do mean the whole class, will stay behind after school.” I have no idea if teachers can still do this but if not I’m guessing that those of us past out mid 30s can probably remember hearing it at least once, and unless we happened to be the boy – or for the sake of equality, the…
Peter Threlfall is a man after my own heart: he wants to migrate to Australia. Okay, in fairness it must be said that he wants to move to South Australia where, I am reliably informed by Mrs Exile, they’re all a bit weird (no idea, I think it might some long standing rivalry over who’s got the best arts festival or something). And also he wants to be a cop,…
Back in February I wrote a very angry sweary blog post about airport scannersand about how the Australian federal government had decided that they’d be installed at all Australian international airports, and I explained, not for the first time, how that would influence my travelling decisions in the future. PASSENGERS at airports across Australia will be forced to undergo full-body scans or be banned from flying under new laws to…
Normally I play Devil’s Advocate with the legal profession. I understand that the crime does not have a cookie cutter nature and that juries and judges, both of whom have access to more information than the rest of us reading newspaper reports, may make decisions we can’t easily understand or accept. I understand that the system is designed to allow guilty people every chance to slip through the cracks and…
I wish I could say that I find the reaction of this politician surprising. Google has refused to explain why it paid just $74,176 in Australian tax last year, despite making an estimated $1 billion in revenue from the Australian market. The opposition communications spokesman, Malcolm Turnbull, said yesterday the growing digital economy was creating headaches for lawmakers. He said corporate giants like Google were able to generate billions in…
… but things do seem to be tilted in their favour sometimes, as two stories this week about policing in different parts of Oz illustrate. First, over in the west, yet another example of the law punishing the innocent and guilty alike when it comes to impounding cars for speeding, though in effect the innocent party receives the bulk of the punishment by being deprived of their property while the driver cops…
Jesus wept. I know I’ve said this about eleventy squillion times already, but it really is like Labour never left office. Children who appear on television talent shows or reality TV programmes will have to be licensed under Government plans to prevent them being exploited for ratings. Anyone under 16 who appears in front of Simon Cowell and the other judges on Britain’s Got Talent will have to be cleared…
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