Posts Tagged ‘ Read and Weep ’

Yet More #FirstWorldProblems…

May 16, 2013 9 Comments
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Tesco has defended its decision to label a children’s chemistry set a boys’ toy, despite criticism from gender equality campaigners. Oh. Those. Campaigners from Let Toys Be Toys, an online pressure group that is calling on retailers not to limit children’s development by promoting separate “boys’” and “girls’” toys, said that Tesco’s labelling of its “Action Science Chemistry Set” was sexist. A bunch of people with too much time on…

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“We Want The Government To Punish Vultures For Being Vultures!”

May 10, 2013 7 Comments
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The body of a 52-year-old woman who fell to her death in the Pyrenees was devoured by Griffon vultures before emergency services were able to retrieve it. Furious locals are demanding that authorities take action against the endangered carrion-eaters after they left only the woman’s bones, clothes and shoes for burial. What sort of action? Convert them to vegetarianism? ‘When we first went out in the helicopter looking for the…

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Actually, Mr Catt, I’m Not Too Keen On It Either…

May 8, 2013 3 Comments
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The local authority said the judge ordered Mr Catt to pay the council’s costs in relation to one of these. The amount of these costs has not yet been agreed. But Mr Catt said: “I am protected from costs by legal aid. That’s what they do not like.” Yeah, well partly that’s because spending public money is seen as their job, I suppose. Me, I’m not too happy about it because I’d…

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Yet More Wacky Curriculum Requests…

May 2, 2013 8 Comments
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Children should get lessons in prison life to stop them becoming involved in crime, according to the Duke of Westminster’s daughter. Lady Edwina Grosvenor, who has dedicated her life to prison reform, today called for the classes to be included in the national curriculum. Why does everyone with a tuppenny-ha’penny cause or idea feel they have the right to demand it be shoehorned into the bulging national curriculum? Surely children…

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What We Need Is A Lower Speed Limit (Because They Don’t Obey The Current Higher One)!

April 20, 2013 10 Comments
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What We Need Is A Lower Speed Limit (Because They Don’t Obey The Current Higher One)!

Is it just me, or…? Prof Snow said: “The speed limit is 30mph but drivers seem to go a bit faster than that. It would be safer if it was a 20 as it goes right past the school. “The road is a 60mph limit until just before the school, meaning people don’t always slow down in time.” They don’t slow down in time from 60mph to 30mph, but they…

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“Let’s Hold The Show Right Here!*”

April 6, 2013 12 Comments
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Friends of Joe Porter, 16, pictured, who died in February from a rare form of bowel cancer, had planned the charity event in Nailsea’s Somerset Square on April 13 to raise money for the #skydive4joe appeal. Around 100 people were expected to take part in the Harlem Shake which would have been filmed and shown on YouTube. How heartwarming! How noble! How…doomed to failure. Organiser Emma Robbins, a family friend,…

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Good Luck With That Campaign!

April 4, 2013 8 Comments
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Cuts to legal aid are forcing the closure of almost a third of Shelter’s housing advice centres and compelling the Red Cross to abandon its assistance for family reunions, the organisations claim. Family reunions? Why the fiends! Wait. What sort of ‘family’ are we talking about here? The British Red Cross says the cuts will force it to withdraw expert help to those trying to bring their children into the United…

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Oh, Look, My Job Is Just Too Hard…!

April 2, 2013 11 Comments
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Hull divisional commander Chief Superintendent Rick Proctor said the police had reviewed their response to horse fairs staged by travellers following last year’s events. Because it was, to put it mildly, inadequate. And why? Well, because it’s just too difficult! “It is a very difficult situation because of the very nature of the people who tend to gather for these events. “It can be difficult to pinpoint who they are…

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I Bet Employers Can’t Wait To Employ Them!

March 22, 2013 8 Comments
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Experts today praised a London school where lessons start at 10am saying it can help boost grades and reduce levels of depression and self-harm. Yes, I’m sure it can. Until they try to find a job keeping those hours… Russell Foster, professor of circadian neuroscience (Ed: !!) at Oxford University, said more schools should take account of the fact that teenagers have a biological pre-disposition to go to bed later and get…

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Solve The Problem I Created, Big Nanny Council!

March 16, 2013 20 Comments
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The head of a Gravesend school yards from where a 12-year-old girl was hit by a car and dragged under a bus this morning is calling for urgent action… Oh, let me guess. Speed restrictions? It is, after all, the usual demand. That, or lollipop patrols. … to slash the volume of traffic. Eh..?! How..? What’s causing it? The section of Rochester Road, between the junctions with Forge Lane and…

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If We Follow This To Its Logical Conclusion…

March 14, 2013 10 Comments
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Troubled Bournemouth nightspot V Club has had its licence revoked, following a serious stabbing there last month. Licensing chiefs voted to take the drastic measure after a day spent hearing evidence from police, who claimed the premises was associated with serious crime. ‘Associated with’ it in the sense their customers cause it. But should we blame a business for what its customers do? The police have set a precedent with…

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The Problem With ‘White Flight’…

March 10, 2013 4 Comments
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…is that sooner or later, you find your back against the cliff. Sometimes literally: The council wants to build 1,200 homes across the borough and is promising a mix of council homes and first time buyer schemes, but residents say it could damage the character of the town. It’s already evident in Southend itself that the character of the town has changed, and not for the better, thanks to its proximity to…

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This CiF Column Is Just Rent-Seeking, Isn’t It?

March 8, 2013 9 Comments
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In London, where I live, the fact that we have the best schools in the country is meaningless at a local level, where there’s a chronic shortage of non-denominational, non-selective, mixed-sex school places. Does it really matter if you don’t have those things, if you have ‘the best schools in the country’? Clearly, results speak for themselves! Don’t they? From the outset, our approach was pragmatic rather than ideological: to…

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“There is not a correlation between the amount of the loss and the amount of the order.”

February 26, 2013 4 Comments
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Which is why, I suppose, Ramsdens have to spend more money to achieve the justice the system can’t – or, more likely, won’t – give them: A Grimsby superstore is seeking legal action against a former employee who stole more than £55,000.Civil action is due to take place to recoup money taken from Ramsdens by James Jennings. And why do they need to do this? Well, almost all the ill-gotten gains went…

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When The Cure Is Worse Than The Disease…

February 24, 2013 7 Comments
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These are the two men police want to speak to after a customer was smashed over the head with a glass bottle in an unprovoked attack at a violence-plagued Manchester city centre takeaway. It’s shocking, this violence at late-night take aways. Someone should do something about it. Oh. Wait! Last week the M.E.N. revealed that the takeaway, in Manchester’s Gay Village, had been banned from opening late at night after…

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